CRTC, Choice Words
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through telecom
Canadians were overpaying, with many a qualm;
Their bills kept on rising, right through the roof,
While the CRTC dawdled, completely aloof.
In Ottawa, for consumers there was only lip service,
But the big telcos had no need to be nervous;
The government dismissed the wholesale appeal,
And looked ready to bless their big merger deal.
The telcos celebrated with regulatory beers,
While pumping out dividends to Bay Street’s loud cheers;
A bleak future ahead, ISPs sold out with tears,
VMedia, Ebox and Distributel all gone in one year.
The CRTC chair broke rules with gusto and gale,
Meeting with Bell’s boss as they dined out on ale.
They’ve been buddies for years, since he was a Telus exec,
But a probe finds they’re not friends… what the heck?
With headwinds a-blowing, onward they came,
With each CRTC decision, encouraged by name:
“Now Rogers! Now Videotron! Now Shaw, Eastlink and Bell!
On Telus! On Cogeco! The rest… oh shucks, ah well.”
But the year ended with a smidgen of hope,
Competition being dangled just a little more rope.
A new policy direction promising life,
To the small ISPs who are under the knife.
New leadership at the CRTC to usher it in,
Not having worked for the telcos, at least that’s a win;
A focus on competition and consumers is needed,
It remains to be seen if Canadians are heeded.
The CRTC mustn’t tarry and get right to work,
The monopolies they’ve encouraged, around the corner they lurk.
Fill up the stockings, tweak that regulatory nose,
And save this industry from its final death throes.
Spring to your sleigh, give your team a loud whistle,
Shoo those big telcos away with the speed of a missile.
Revive competition and get consumer bills right,
And perhaps then, a Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
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